Another friend leaves,
some hearts are empty,
some eyes are watery,
and lot of words are unspoken...

Such are relationships,
which give you the most,
and take away from you most,
And now is the time to cherish...

Its been long since I wrote... I have lots to write, but I think writing all that will make me vulnerable. And the last thing I will let happen to myself is making myself vulnerable.

I am confused, and I think I am always confused. My right brain wants one thing and my left brain wants another thing. And its not possible to satisfy both the brains. I wish I not had been like this and I had a clear crystal mind.

Sometimes I think if it is good to have that open a mind and speak it out that frankly. I think people find difficult to connect with me and get offended. Its not that what I think I am going to implement it in my life, but I think there is nothing wrong in those things.

And I cant ignore what people think about me. At last, I live in a society. And so, I sometimes feel running away from the society in a secluded area where there is no one to judge you.

You wish, Poonam! That is never going to happen.

I feel like a dumb. I dont know anything about what I should have known in the ideal world. I dont know... I am clueless. I feel pathetic...

Update - And then I crib about it to A, and I feel good after cribbing. :D

Note

You can't make everyone happy. So, be happy when you and some near ones are happy.

:)

I never felt that I will have all these emotions that I am going through currently. I always thought that I have a very stony heart. People who know me also think similar about me... they can never imagine me with a guy and in love. I had all those girly dreams but my love for my parents and family always super-seeded those dreams. I always took marriages as society rituals. And when I said yes to getting married, I still had all these things in my mind.

And now, after 5 months of being engaged, I have such different emotions. I am surprised on myself. I have been planning the next phase of my life. I keep thinking about him most of the time. The one person I look forward to talk to is him. And I keep missing him so much. And for the first time, I cried today just because I was missing him. Yeah, this heart has become soft with time, and its falling in love... and the feeling is very good... :)

I am feeling so relaxed now.. my brain is so light after being heavy for last 2-3 days... Thanks to my dear sister, best brother-in-law you can ever get and an awesome friend. Feeling all fresh again.
I feel blessed to have such people in my life.

-Me.