My mom says me this one morning - "Think about yourself first". I feel like telling her you never taught me to do that. In fact, you always taught me to think about other family members first and then myself. How do you expect me to think about me now?

She tells me to speak out what I want. I feel like telling her, she did not even teach me that. Whenever I spoke what I want when I was young, I was called a stubborn/rude girl. Not only me, but others in my family who did that too were called stubborn/rude. They taught us how to listen to others and compromise all your wants, likings. They appreciated a simple kid who did not have many wishes, who thought about others first and who sacrificed a lot of his/her likings.

And now when you are not in that pitruchaya (dad's secured umbrella) and you are in this world, you understand the importance of being a stubborn person who stands by what he/she wants, who speaks out what he/she thinks is not right and tries to make the most of an opportunity without thinking of others.

Well Mom, its too late... even if you tell me to do that now, I can't do it. And when you or others tell the youngsters to become like me, I hate it the most. I don't want them to become like me! I want them to stand by their own wishes, I want them to be happy instead of thinking of how to make others happy, I want them to be stubborn when they know what they want, I want them to speak out each time even if they are wrong at least you can correct them, I want them to have a brain of their own and not get into emotional atyachaar!

And I have seen this most in joint Indian Marwari Families... and I am part of such a family. I would like to know what do you think about this, do you think you have been brought up in such a way?

In no ways I am dis-respecting my family or my parents, I love them the most! Its just one of the things I think is wrong in me and I am finding an escape by blaming it on the way I was brought up. :-)